the beginning

There are so many things I want to change about myself.

One of the big ones is my attitude towards food. Damn, I keep trying to be "mature" about it, but it's so fucking hard.

I'm supposed to be doing Weight Watchers. Great idea. I understand why it's good. I was super enthusiastic about it early on, when I was losing weight. And maybe that's WHY I was losing weight. But now I'm not and it makes me cranky.

I need to focus on healthy food. It IS a healthier way of eating. I need to glory in that. I need to stay away from processed food.

Small, reasonable portions. Like in France. No crazy portion sizes. No seconds or thirds, even of foods that are zero point foods. No eating like Josh, and no resenting him for doing it. Just be Zen about it all.

I need to step back from exceptions. No exceptions for a while. None. Zero.

Take a deep breath and restart.

Tomorrow I do the three day diet. I think it's kind of dumb, but I DO need some kind of restart, kickstart to my weight loss.

I really really want to be thinner for life, but also for October in France. Can I be 30 pounds lighter for the end of September? Inconceivable. And yet I want it a lot. So do it girl, just do it.

Diet. Exercise. Changing my thinking towards food.

Food is fuel. Food is not my friend. Food is not something to do when I'm bored or stressed or starting something. Food is something I put in my body to make it healthy.